


the other side of the stars

by remy (iamremy)



Series: tumblr fics [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Can be read as gen, Codependency, Ficlet, Heaven, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Post-Canon, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 15:13:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15464187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamremy/pseuds/remy
Summary: Sam wakes up to find Billie sitting next to his bed.





	the other side of the stars

**Author's Note:**

> yeahhh, i'm sorry, i guess

Sam wakes up to find Billie sitting next to his bed, one leg over the other, in a chair he distinctly remembers as the one Dean uses when he wants to watch over Sam after a particularly bad scare.

“Hello, Sam,” she says, calm and serene as always.

“Um, hello,” Sam says, sitting up, and then, “No offence, but why are you here?”

She smiles at that, leaning forward just a little. “What do you think?” she asks simply.

Sam frowns. “I’m - dead?” he guesses, and then immediately backtracks. “But I can’t be, I’m–”

“And yet,” she interrupts. “You are.”

“You’re here to reap me?”

“I already have,” she tells him. “You’re in Heaven.”

“Heaven?” Sam’s frown deepens. “I thought you said–”

“And yet,” she repeats, and she is still smiling. “Here you are.”

Sam processes this for a moment, and then sighs, leaning back against the headboard and closing his eyes. This is… bizarre. Really bizarre.

“Peaceful death in your sleep,” Billie says, and he opens his eyes to look at her. “Not a bad way to go. Better than most hunters.”

“I guess,” Sam mutters. “Is - is Dean okay?”

She tilts her head. “He doesn’t know yet,” she says. “For all he knows, you’re still in bed, just sleeping in.”

“Oh.” Sam’s not sure how he feels about that. A sudden thought hits him, and he sits up straight. “Billie - when does Dean–?”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you,” she says, interrupting, and of course she knew what he would ask. It’s the first thing either of them think when one of them dies.

“But he’ll try–” Sam begins, desperate. “I don’t want him to– look, he’s going to–” He stops, frustrated, unable to articulate to her exactly the problem with him dying first.

She simply shrugs. “And life will go on, Sam. Whatever the two of you choose to do, life goes on.”

Sam slumps back into the headboard. The thought should be comforting, and yet… “What about Jack?” he asks.

“Jack will be fine,” Billie informs him, somewhat unhelpfully, and then stands. “Well, Sam. As…  _interesting_  as this conversation has been, I’m afraid I must leave. Duty calls.”

“Right,” mutters Sam, too preoccupied with thoughts of Dean and Jack to really care. “See you, I suppose.”

She’s already gone.

* * *

He finally gets out of bed, not sure of how much time has passed and what it translates to in Earth time. His heaven is a carbon copy of the bunker, with barely any modifications, and he has no doubt that if he left it he would find the Impala outside, and a long road ahead.

But he remains there, sitting in the library, unwilling to let go of this semblance of normalcy. Maybe if he sits here long enough he can while away the time and not feel like he’s dead and all alone.

He wonders if Dean’s found him yet, and what he’s planning to do if he has. He hopes it’s going to be okay. They’ve had a good life together - grown old together after retirement, raised a good kid, become accustomed to their routine. There’s plenty of reasons for Dean to go on, like continuing the training program they’d begun for younger hunters, updating their lore database, helping out people who need it, and all the other things he’d done with Sam to pass the time.

And Jack, Jack’s a nephilim, and he’s grown into his powers, become a little less dependent on Sam and Dean, a little more confident, much stronger. He’s going to be fine. Maybe he can help Dean through the grief of losing Sam.

Sam tries not to think of how much he misses them both, especially Dean. He wonders how long he’s going to be alone for, up here in his incomplete heaven.

* * *

He’s not sure how much time has passed between the first time he saw Billie, and now. This time she’s across from him in the war room, still smiling that Mona Lisa smile of hers.

“Hello,” he says, because she’s not talking.

“Hello,” she says. “How are you adjusting?”

Sam shrugs. “I’m okay.” It’s not completely a lie. “It’s a bit quiet, but I’m fine.”

She smiles like she knows something he doesn’t. “Hmm,” is all she says.

“How’s Dean?” he asks her, trying not to be put off by her quietness. “Did he - did he manage okay?”

Billie just raises her eyebrows. “What do you think?”

Okay, fair enough, thinks Sam. Of course Dean didn’t manage okay. God knows Sam wouldn’t have either, in his place.

“And Jack?” he asks, masochistically.

“Coping,” is all Billie says. “You know he’ll outlive everyone he loves.”

“I know.” It’s heartbreaking, and inevitable, and all Sam could do when he was alive was hope that Jack would know how to go on after them.

“Anyway,” Billie says, after a few minutes (?) of silence. “I’ll be leaving you now.”

Sam smiles, a sad little thing. “Duty calls,” he says, and she nods.

“Later, I guess,” Sam begins, but she’s not there to hear him.

Instead - and Sam feels something akin to his heart stopping in his chest - there are footsteps, and then Dean is grinning at him. “Heya, Sammy,” he says, young and beautiful and bright. “I got beer.”

Sam stares at him for a moment (?) before letting out a sound that’s half-laugh, half-wild sob. “Dean,” he mutters thickly, and stands to wrap his arms around his brother. “What did you do?”

It can’t have been that long since he’s died. Somehow Sam knows it’s probably only been a few hours since Dean must have found him.

“What I was always gonna do,” Dean says, returning the embrace.

“Dean,” Sam begins, ready to argue - someone’s going to have to find them both, and it will probably be Jack, Jack who’ll have to burn his surrogate fathers’ bodies and come to terms with the fact that they’re gone for good—

“Don’t,” Dean says at once, hand firm on Sam’s back. “It’s okay, Sammy. We’re together. That’s all that matters.”

Sam lets out a long, shaky sigh. “Dean,” he says, and this time he lets everything go, and just sinks into his brother’s arms.

“I’m here,” is all Dean says. All he needs to say.

It’s heaven for real now, and Sam is complete again.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://chestercbennington.tumblr.com): come say hi!
> 
> love,  
> remy x


End file.
